What is the Hague Convention?

The Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption was completed in May of 1993. It was created in order to help protect children from being trafficked, abducted and sold between countries. Currently there are 75 countries that have signed the Hague Convention treaty. To learn more I've provided links below.

What is the Hague Convention?

List of Countries Included in The Hague Convention

How the System in China Works under the Hague Convention

Baby Steps: A Walk Through of the Adoption Process

While each adoption process can differ slightly depending on the situation, the general outline of the steps are the same. I'll try to clarify those steps in this post, at least for Adopt International.

1. Adoptive parents come to the office for a free consultation with Lisa Clark. The consultation is a meeting in which Lisa gives papers discussing rules and regulations for adopting in different countries and introducing clients to the Adopt International program.
2. After the initial consultation, clients, if they have decided to proceed with the process will apply for a home study. Adopt International is one of few private agency that is licensed to complete home studies. A social worker will come to the adoptive parents house for the home study.
3. After the home study, they start the program they applied for.
4. If they applied for international adoption they would begin to fill out the paperwork for immigration.
5. If it is the domestic program they would begin their outreach. For outreach couples create a letter explaining a bit about themselves and why they want to adopt. Adopt International will edit and look over it then supply the family with the name of a company that compiles a list of OBGYNs across the country. The adoptive couple then mails 3000 letters with their pictures attached to the doctors and clinics from the list.
6. In addition the the letters the adoptive parents also create 15 picture books that are a bit more in depth than the letter. The picture books talk of each of the spouses families, their lives together, their likes and dislikes and jobs.
7. The books are kept on hand and sent out to birthmothers if an interest is shown in one of the letters presented to her at her doctors or if she is in direct contact with the agency.
8. Birthmother and adoptive parents now contact each other on the phone or in person and introduce themselves.
9. Once a possible match has been made, the birthmother speaks with Lisa or whomever is in charge of the case about what she wants in relinquishment contract. Some birthmothers may want a very open adoption with up to four visits a year or little to no contact. Adopt International only does open adoptions and all choices are up to the birthmother.
10. The birthmother then sets a date to meet with Lisa to have her rights as a birthmother read to her and make sure she understands them fully. No papers are signed during this meeting.
11. A second meeting is then scheduled and the birthmother signs the relinquishment forms.
12. Once the relinquishment forms have been signed, the birth father termination papers are the next forms that need to be completed. The attorney of the adoptive parents sends in these forms.
13. Step 13 is....waiting! Everyone waits for the baby to be born! Adoptive parents are responsible for pregnancy related expenses (maternity clothes, transportation to her doctors office, tests that may need to be done, ect.). The Birthmother and parents can also use this time to get to know each other.
14. Once the child is born, the adoptive parents sign a placement agreement and a risk statement. Once the state of California recognizes these papers, the birthmothers contracts is legally binding.
15. The family then has 6 months of supervision with their social walker which includes 4 post placement visits.
16. After the post placement visits, the adoptive couple then goes to court finalize the adoption.
17. Then they live happily ever after!

The Role of Race in Adoption

When my parents registered to adopt, they asked specifically for a white child. When I asked why they chose to adopt a Caucasian child instead of another race my father told me that they didn't feel comfortable dealing with issues that may arise with a child of another ethnic backgrounds than white parents. I think on some levels it definitely makes things a bit easier when it comes to discussions around race, though I don't think it's wrong for a couple to adopt a child of a different race, as long as the couple is ready to answer questions and teach the child about their background. From the perspective of the adoption agency it makes it easier to place a child with a couple if they are more open to different races simply because it doesn't limit options for the parents. If parents are too picky it can lead to difficulties in finding them an appropriate child. When a parent does do a transracial adoption there are definitely responsibilities that come with that commitment. On another note, birthmothers may not be open to giving their child to a family of a different ethnicity. They want their heritage and cultural teachings maintained and there may also be a sense of familiarity with how the family is run in a culture. Just the other day Adopt International was called by a Korean birthmother who only wanted a Korean family to adopt her child. Below I've posted a few articles on this subject that are worth checking out.

Talking Race

Asian and Latino Children in White Homes

Should Race Be a Factor in Adoptions?

My Senior Project

For my senior project I've decided to intern with Adopt International based in San Francisco for a month. My hopes in doing this is that I'll be able to better understand the adoption process from the birth mothers side as well as the type of work that goes into an adoption. This blog will serve as a public journal of sorts in which I can talk through my thoughts on the process and even pose questions that I hopefully can answer as the month progresses. Before this blog goes further I should say that Adopt International is a private agency that only does open adoptions. This means that the birthmother and child are allowed to communicate as much as agreed upon prior to adoption, and more if all parties feel it's alright and safe.

Meeting Patricia

Meeting my birth mother was the hardest and simultaneously the most rewarding event of my life. I was adopted by an incredibly loving family from San Francisco, California, who would raise me over the next seventeen years alongside their own child, Kyra. To me they were my family. My parents have always supported my sister and me in our endeavors and we’re always laughing about something. I knew how much they loved me and I never doubted their love. But I could not help but wonder where I came from. I wanted a bit of context to my life, and I wanted to know the small things. Did I share habits with my mother? Did I look like her?How would I develop over time? Without knowing these simple details I couldn’t help but feel slightly detached from my adoptive family. Above all, I wanted to know the story behind my adoption. I have never regretted my time with my family, but I sought to understand what choices brought me to them. I convinced myself that in order to feel closer to my family I first needed to understand myself. I was right, in a way. When I met Patricia I gained a new aspect of my self-identity. I also came to learn the true meaning of family.

When I met my birthmother this past summer, it wasn’t exactly the scene straight from a Disney channel movie I had imagined it would be. There were no tears, no one fainted and I didn’t fling myself into her awaiting arms. In fact, it was a bit anticlimactic. She was middleaged with thinning hair and a bit of extra weight around the middle. She didn’t seem to resemble me in the slightest, as I’d thought she might. The only commonality I saw between us was the bubbly excitement that she seemed to exude. Her home was small and set in the middle of a large plot of land where she and her husband raised horses and a number of dogs. From the of front the road the land didn’t look very promising and it was at this point that I could sense both my parents get a bit tense. The house was very different from my own in Mill Valley, but it was cozy and filled with welcoming family membersall waiting anxiously to greet me. Once everyone had gone, Pat and I sat down to talk.

Meeting Patricia was the most nerve racking experience I’ve everhad. I’m proud that I was brave enough to go through with it. I had been scared about how I might be received, especially as I was a product of a liberal Bay Area family visiting my roots in conservative West Texas. At first when we began to talk I was jittery and nervous, but as time went on I came to see that there was nothing to be anxious about. She had made mistakes in her life, but frankly who hasn’t? She explained to me the situation she was in when she put me up for adoption. This helped because when I was younger I had always felt like it was my fault that she had given me up. Though I certainly was not under that impression any more, hearing her tell me was reassuring. By the end of our time together I was left feeling content and loved by both families. I felt lucky that I had two groups of people who clearly wanted the best for me. Perhaps more importantly, I felt like I finally had some context to my life. When I was younger, I never felt like I had an adequate explanation of where I came from. There was something about knowing my roots that comforted me. I had always hated those elementary school projects that focused upon one’s family tree. I felt like I was cheating by using my adoptive parent’s ancestors. Now when people asked me if I had ever met my birth mother, I can say yes and tell them all about her.

While meeting Patricia helped fill a part of me that had been missing, I learned a much more important lesson from the experience and it was this: A family is a group of people who loveyou and will always take care of you regardless of whether or not you share genes with them. I came back from that trip so much more thankful that my mother and father adopted me. They provided me with a very good education, gave me international experiences that I could have never had if Patricia had kept me and, most importantly, they were there for me through thick and thin. Mom and dad had changed my diapers and held me when I cried. They nursed me when I was sick and helped me when I was learning to read. They had taught me morals and had given me the tools I needed in order to become the bright young woman I am today. Sitting on that plane ride home I couldn’t help but think about what life might have been like had they not adopted me. The irony of my visit to Patricia’s, and my quest for a deeper understanding of my past, was that it made me feel even more a part of my family. I left for Texas seeking to understand my difference, and yet I came back to San Francisco feeling more at home than ever.